Everybody has regrets. Even if someone says they don’t have any because they live life to the fullest, somewhere deep inside that person has a tiny bit of regret. Me? I have plenty. They’re so plenty that I couldn’t tell which one my biggest regret. So maybe I’ll just sort of sum it all up by say that my biggest regret was being not enough.
- Not true enough to admit how I feel
- Not brave enough to fight for I really wanted
- Not determined enough to finish what I started
- Not motivated enough to start something new
Honestly, the list could go on. But let me stop here.
I would like to believe believe that I’m not like every other girl who has a checklist of traits of their ideal guy. While, in fact, I do not have an actual checklist written on paper or any other form, I guess I do have a few things in mind. Of course, I didn’t stay up late one night thinking about these things while I was little (that wasn’t my thing then). Although I stay up late every night up because I have the cursed fate of an insomniac. These traits are, more often than not, guaranteed to make me swoon and, in my mind, decorating our future house together. Kidding.
- Sense of Humor – Who doesn’t like a good laugh? He doesn’t have to be overly hilarious. Just someone who enjoys a good laugh every now and then.
- One hell of a smile – A smile that could make a heat skip a beat like I have arrhythmia
Well, like I said, I don’t have a list. I have a few things though that I would want in a guy like I want someone affectionate just because I think that would balance things out because I’m not affectionate myself. Personally speaking though, I don’t like to lose sleep on these things because in reality, people rarely ever get what they think is ideal. So why should I bother picturing the ideal guy, right? I wouldn’t get it anyway.
If I won the lottery…
…I’d pack my bags, leave everything behind, go wherever my feet would take, be a hobo for a year, explore places I can only dream about, try different cuisines, learn a new language, explore different cultures.
That’s if I don’t have any responsibility.
But since I do, if I won the lottery, my responsibilities would come first. If I won the lottery, it would solve most of my problems. It wouldn’t be everything, of course, but it would be a good way to start over.
My Worst Habits
I have this ability to think about the worst scenarios in just about 20 seconds. My mind runs way past the speed limit in worrying.
This I practically have a Masters degree on. I put off even the most basic things like taking a bath or peeing.
- Flipping through channels
Staying on one channel is torture to my brain which gets bored every one minute, give or take, depending on what I’m watching.
Happy or sad, good days or bad days. I celebrate with food and I heal through food.
Things that Make me Sad
- Sad stories (movie/books)
Things That Make Me Happy
- Pamper Days (Foot massage, Mani/Pedi, Foot spa)
This is one of my favorite movies ever. Something that I could watch on days where I don’t feel like getting out of bed, on sick days, or even on days when I need something I could just play and I get lost on my thoughts.
The plot is simple and some may find it a little ridiculous but it works for me. I admit though that one of the reasons I like this movie is I find myself putting myself on Katherine Heigl’s shoes and I wonder how I’d handle it, you know, being left with a kid. Not that I want that fortune on my hands. God, please no. I don’t know, I guess I just like freaking myself out with crazy things that scare the hell out of me like babies and the thought of being responsible for a little human being’s life.
And, of course, Josh Duhamel. Josh Duhamel is my ultimate eye candy. Forget Brad Pitt. John Duhamel is love. My love. Okay, I’ll stop here before it gets any weirder.