Know Thyself 2 | A Personal Growth Exercise

Hey! Hey! Hey! I’m back with Part 2 of this personal growth exercise that I’m doing. If anyone’s interested, Part 1 is here. πŸ™‚ As I’ve said, I got this from Pinterest from Misty Sansom. So here are my responses for Questions 10 through 17.

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10. What are you most afraid of?

I would say I’m most afraid of losing people I love, most especially my family. I don’t know if I have the strength to go through grief if/when it happens. The last time I lost someone really close to me, I didn’t deal with it very well and it wasn’t pretty. I’m terrified of being in this world without the constant people in my life.

11. If life stopped today, what would you regret not doing?

A lot of things. πŸ˜€ I’d regret not making more mistakes, not having more fun. I’d regret not living my life to the fullest.

12. Who would you like to connect (or reconnect) with? Why?

I would like to reconnect with Nugget. Not for anything else, just… I want a chance for us to talk again. See what it’s like. Perhaps get some of my questions answered, my what ifs put to rest. And finally, finally close that chapter?

13. What qualities do you admire in others?

I admire one’s strong faith in God. I admire others who believe God’s purpose without a doubt. I also admire spirit and determination. Kindness and selflessness. Those are qualities I would like to have. Of course, I also love and admire one’s sense of humor or ability to make others laugh because it’s really nice to be able to put a smile on people’s faces or just brighten up someone’s day.

14. What practical skills do you wish you had?

I guess it wouldn’t really be considered as a practical skill but I would love to have singing skills up my sleeve. Maybe just enough that I could sing in a karaoke without being conscious about it. I also wish I could cook better. I probably would eventually with tons of practice. I would love it if I could whip up an awesome dinner and people would be all over how great the food was. Haha! πŸ˜€

15. Imagine you’re in your 90s. What memories would you like to have? What stories do you want to tell?

I would like lots and lots of memories of beach trips, memories underwater hopefully of me scuba diving. I want wonderful memories from trekking adventures, of majestic mountaintops, lovely sunrises and sunsets.

Of course, I would like to have fun stories like, “I was sooo drunk I <insert crazy thing here>,” or “That insane ride we had in <insert name of country here>.” But one story I would really like to have is the story of how I overcame everything, how I felt so lost in my 20s and then I figured it out and everything made sense. I want stories that would inspire my grand-kids (if I ever have any) to be good people.

16. What is your favorite book/movie/song? Why?

How Could An Angel Break My Heart by Toni Braxton. I love this song because for some odd reason it helps me concentrate. I have an unbelievably short attention span. I jump from one thing to another but this song somehow settles my mind and I could focus on one thing for several minutes longer than I normally would. I just really wish I had discovered this little fact about my brain back in college.

17. If you could make one change in the world, what would it be?

With all the bloodshed that’s going on right now, in a city not too far away from mine, in different parts of my country, in other countries, my heart weeps for all the wasted lives, for children who lost their parents and parents who lost sons and daughters. I wish for the whole world to have peace but peace is such an elusive state. So if I could change one thing in this world, maybe it would be to give every single human being a sense of kindness. I don’t know if it would change everything but I know it would be something.

***

So the first part of the questions were all fun but I must say I had somewhat a tough time answering this second set of the questions as it required a little more reflection into what’s in my heart. I especially love Question 15 because it made me realize that there’s still so much I have to do and I want to do. Anyway, that’s it for now. Part 3 will be up soon!

Thank you for reading! πŸ˜‰

Know Thyself 1 | A Personal Growth Exercise

I was down the Pinterest rabbit hole last week and I found this… (not sure what to call it) prompt? post? Anyway, it’s called a personal growth exercise. I found the questions interesting and I would like to see how I’d respond to them. So it was posted by Misty Sansom. It has 25 questions and I’m gonna answer in three parts because I didn’t want it to be too long. Here’s the photo…

know_thyself

1. What does your ideal day look like?

My ideal day would be waking up early, like around 6AM (which never happens ’cause I sleep really late), get a nice workout in, have breakfast. Get some work done (girl’s gotta earn some moola). Head to the beach and wait for sunset. Lovely dinner with the people I love. Sneak in some TV or reading time. Lights off.

2. What did you want to be when you were younger?

A lot of things. I wanted to be a famous actor even though I couldn’t act to save my life. I wanted to be a doctor or a journalist. None of those things happened. πŸ˜€

3. Who are you most inspired by? Why?

My parents. I just really, really, really want to make them happy. Everything I’m doing right now I’m doing for them and I pray it works out.

4. Who would you love to meet? What would you ask?

God. I know this is too much to ask. But just… there are a lot of things I want to understand that only he/she could explain.

5. What habit would you most like to break? What habit would you most like to start?

I would like to stop procrastinating. This has been my problem my entire life. Seriously, if breathing weren’t involuntary, I would’ve died years ago. I even procrastinate on stopping my procrastinating habit. It’s a disease. I would like to start being more positive, if that counts as a habit.

6. Think of a person you truly admire. What qualities do you like about that person?

One of the persons I admire is my older brother. I know he’s not perfect. I am completely aware of his shortcomings but his heart for his family is just something so… remarkable. I admire his spirit and determination. It’s something I wish I had and something I’m striving to have.

7. How do you like to relax?

Flick through channels on TV or watch feel-good, no-brainer shows like Spongebob Squarepants. And have a Spa Day. My favorites… manicure/pedicure, foot and head massage. πŸ™‚

8. When was the last time you did something you were afraid of?

July 16. Danced in public. Context: I dance but not when it’s not required. Hahaha! I always thought I’d only dance in a club with a gun to my head or if I’m drunk AF. Surprisingly, that night, I danced completely sober. Yay! Achievement unlocked! I don’t know what it was, maybe I was too happy or it could’ve been my makeup or the dress. I’d never know but I’m glad I did! πŸ™‚

9. What are you most proud of?

I used to say I’m proudest of having once published my stories through a local publishing. But right now, I want to say that I’m proud that I’m trying. Again. That I’m trying to make something of myself. Even if it’s uncertain and it’s terrifying. I’m proud that I’ve had a couple of good days lately, even my okay days outnumber my terrible days for now. Most of all, I’m proud that I feel somewhat sane.

***

Indeed, it’s been fun answering and reflecting on these questions. Excited to answer questions 10 through 17 next! πŸ˜€ Please look out for it. Or not. Whatever works! πŸ™‚ If you see this, thank you for clicking and taking time to read my post! Hope you have a lovely day.

Sunday Curently | 02

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Hey, everyone!!! I had so much fun doing my first Sunday Currently I decided to do another one this week. πŸ˜€ Plus I had a little bit of extra time ’cause class ended waaaay earlier than usual! *woot woot!* Anyway… here goes!

Watching

MasterChef US Season 8. I love watching this show even though I haven’t tried most of the dishes they cook. I feel like I learn a lot of cooking techniques in theory though! And it’s fun watching Gordon Ramsey cook and his insults are funny (if it wasn’t meant for you). πŸ™‚ In fact, right now, I just heard him called somebody’s rack of lamb looking like dog chew.

Writing

This Sunday Currently issue and a couple more blogs after this one.

Thinking

How I should be more careful and mentally present whenever I’m out. So I rode the jeepney (Philippines’ number 1 public transportation vehicle) earlier, there were a couple of passengers when I got in. I didn’t bother to look at their faces. And not even two minutes since I got in, I felt someone suddenly bump into my back, which I found weird but totally ignored. I learned later that three of the guys who were also passengers snatched another girl’s necklace and took one guy’s phone. The girl who bumped into me did so because she was avoiding and protecting herself from the guys.

Feeling

Grateful for being safe overall. Experiencing or seeing theft opens your eyes to not be complacent. Look out, be alert, protect yourself.

Wanting and Hoping

To do a blogging challenge next month and hoping I could finish it to the end πŸ™‚ I did the 30-day blogging challenge last time and I only got up to the 25th day (I think) before it all crashed and burned. πŸ˜€

Loving

The sleep I had. I like a three-hour nap. Hahaha! Well… I guess I couldn’t call it a nap.

Needing

Love. πŸ™‚ Let’s leave it like that, yes?

***

So that’s it for now, guys! How’s your Sunday so far? πŸ™‚

 

Wishing everyone a great week ahead!!!

A Revisit: Out of Time |Way Back Wednesday

I’ve never been afraid of death. That’s mainly because I feel like I have nothing to leave behind. I have no child to leave behind, whose welfare I have to worry about the moment I stopped breathing. Of course, I have my family, my parents and brothers. But they can take care of themselves. My family along with my friends will grieve for some time and then they’re going to go on with their lives.

I’ve never been afraid of death… until I came to the possibility that I was out of time. It was nothing really. It was just me being my usual paranoid self. I had seen a doctor and when I got home I decided to Google my medical results.

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And then I started reading about the likelihood of cancer at freaking 2AM and my follow-up appointment wasn’t until two weeks after…

It’s laughable right now. But a few weeks ago, I found myself thinking whether or not I should tell my family. If I decide I would, how do I tell them? I found myself composing goodbye letters for all those people who mean to me. Β I found myself crying like I was actually about to die.

And on those crazy moments, I thought about all the things I missed. The place I haven’t gone to because I kept postponing my trip there. The trip I’ve always wanted to take with friends. The hobby I still haven’t pursued. The book I haven’t read. The get-togethers I missed because I didn’t feel like seeing people that day. All the play-times with my dog that I put off. All the trivial things I should have done a long time ago but didn’t.

That’s when I realized that I haven’t lived yet. Up until then, I’ve never been so afraid to die because I didn’t realize how much I haven’t lived until I thought I was out of time.

Sunday Currently | 01

For the past three weeks (I think), I’ve been trying to post something up on my blog twice a week. This Sunday, I originally wanted to post something that I had written a couple weeks before but never published. I was about to schedule it a few days ago, I read it again and… I just absolutely hated it! I could not bear publishing it. Hahaha!

Since I did not want to break my streak, I decided on finally doing this. The Sunday Currently tag (I may be using a wrong term here) has been one of the first things I’ve been interested in doing when I started blogging but I always put it off. Yes, like everything else in my life.

So I know this was originally created by Siddathornton but I first saw this from Maine Mendoza, who blogs over at The Pessimistic Optimistic Bella. She is one of the local celebrities I love. She’s not just funny, she super smart as well. She writes insightful blogs and really lovely poems. OK… let me stop there before I totally fangirl over here.

After that long-winded intro, here is my first-ever (hopefully not last) entry to Sunday Currently

Wearing

My standard pambahay (house clothes) outfit. Shorts and shirt. And… TMI Alert!!! No bra. πŸ˜€

Listening

To my brother snoring. It’s always like this in our house. Everybody’s snoring while I’m wide awake, forcing myself to sleep. My insomnia and I have forever.

Thinking

About future plans. So last Friday, I learned that my original game plan (in life) may not work. I’m really bummed because 1) I’ve been totally energized about that plan and 2) I don’t know what else to do. At least not yet. I’ll figure this out. Vague, right? Perhaps I’ll talk about it one day.

Hoping

That the best is yet to come. It doesn’t feel like it sometimes but I really do hope it would come.

Feeling

Excited and nervous. I have a school event later. We’d be getting dolled up and all and for a formal function so I’m excited. Yet I’m nervous because I was assigned to be the host of the said event. And I’m just praying I won’t embarrass myself later.

Thinking 2

Why I even accepted that hosting assignment. And how I really should be sleeping right about now.

Hoping 2

I won’t trip over while dancing *cringes* and embarrass myself even more.

Loving

That I’ve been kind of productive lately. Blog-wise and life-wise.

Needing

More positive vibes πŸ˜‰

Missing

Lazy afternoons during college days. Our university was by the beach (sounds awesome, right?!?) so my friends and I spent quite a lot of afternoons on one of the benches in the campus under the shades of acacia trees either studying or just hanging out with sea breeze on our skins. Ahhh those were the days…

 

I guess that’s it for my Sunday Currently entry but before I leave, let me show you a photo of our lovely campus that I miss so much.

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Photo from Philippine Tourist Destinations

 

Hope you all have a great Sunday!!!

 

Of Love and Heartbreaks | Vol. 1

“Do you love me?” She asks. After the long, deafening silence that came after they hurled hurtful words at each other.

“I do. You know I do,” he says.

She takes her eyes off him, stares at nothing in particular, carefully thinking what to say next. Finding the strength to ask a question she has had ever since she jumped into this affair full speed ahead. The sound of her heartbeat seems to get louder by the second as none of them dared to utter another word. Until finally she says…

“What about…” she started but her voice breaks. With eyes closed, she says it anyway. “Do you still love her?”

The clock ticked 1… 2… 3…

Nothing

She held herself, braced for impact while fervently hoping the impact wouldn’t happen at all.

The clock ticked 4… 5… 6…

Nothing

Hoping he’d say the two-letter word that would make all of this infinitely better.

The clock ticked 7… 8… 9…

Nothing

Longing for time to stop and snap back to ten minutes before they started yelling.

The clock ticked 10… 11… 12…

Nothing

Wishing she hadn’t asked it instead…

The clock ticked 13… 14… 15…

Finally, he says in a weak, unsure voice.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever stop loving her.”

The Lottery Tag

I don’t know if it’s just me but winning a huge lottery jackpot is one of my favorite fantasies so when I saw The Lottery Tag posts by Angela and Janah, whose blogs I both love, I wanted to join in even if wasn’t tagged by anyone. Hahaha! Anyway, this was originally created by Natalie. And here’s how Natalie explained it.

Imagine you won the lottery. There is no set sum of money – it could be $100 or $100m dollars – let your imagination run with it. All up for interpretation. Tell us what you would do with that money, and then tag a couple of your blogging friends to do the same. Or don’t. No need to mention me for creating it; you can if you want, but I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t.

Without any more delay, join me as I indulge in my fantasies.

Small Stuff

nationalbookstore

I don’t mean to buy National Bookstore, of course. But I would like to buy everything I love in NBS. This store has everything a school and office supply nut could imagine. Books, stationery, pens… It’s heaven on Earth!

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I’m not too particular with gadgets but if I have lots and lots of extra moola, I’d most definitely give in to the pleasure of these shiny things.

Big Stuff

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Photo from Forbes.com

There’s a lot of this Earth I haven’t explored. And so I really would like to pack my bags, just pick a place, and just go there. I would like to travel with my family, friends, and alone. Also, I would also love to give my parents their dream vacation.

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Photo from AccreditedSchoolsOnline.org

As of now, YouTube is my teacher but when I could, I’d someday enroll in a culinary school so I could pursue a passion I’ve just recently discovered.

Really Big Stuff

Renovate

– I’d renovate my parents’ house, the house where my brothers and I grew up in, so that it stays standing for the next 30, 60, 100 years. I would love for my future nieces and nephews, hopefully my own kids, too, to see the house where we grew up in.

Build

– I’m a city girl but I’d build my dream house somewhere near the beach hopefully where I could see a beautiful sunset every afternoon.

Provide

– Although I’m still not sure how to go about this but here’s the idea, I’d like to provide a better access to healthcare for my city. If you’ve visited any of the public hospitals in the Philippines, you’d know how limited access to good healthcare is. I know how complicated this matter is and I know this can’t be solved in a snap but I still would like to be able to do something about it especially in my city. Hopefully the whole country next.

Invest

– Of course, I wouldn’t miss an opportunity of a lifetime and invest in something sustainable.

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TIME’S UP!!! That’s it.

BACK TO REALITY!